Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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