Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
