So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
