now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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