my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
