my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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