Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
