marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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