What a fucking waste of an outfit
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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