Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
