I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
