waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think my moral compass just broke
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