I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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