I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
