Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
