just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
