what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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