Cold hands, warm shart.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
