does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
