just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
