I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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