i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
