i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
