I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
