Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm too high and old for this...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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