i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My feet surprised me
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize