worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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