I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
