Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
