i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
