Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
