remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
we should paint friendship bongs
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