Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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