am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Girls should come with a carfax report
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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