it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
