saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
