Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
