it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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