Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
