When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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