he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
