in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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