Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
