I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
