I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize