so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
