She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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