There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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