i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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