I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize