dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Mom said you looked used
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Randomize
