A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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