Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
