I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
