that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize