haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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