we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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