I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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