he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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