There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize