I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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